Sacrifices Come First

Although the beginning was a long time ago, hey look at least there is another post coming......Only 4 months later!

It is fascinating to me how time flies by. I feel as if Valentines was 3 weeks ago and here it is close to the 4th of July. It goes by so quickly and often times we take so much for granted.

Our life is running as normal. I recently switched positions at work and it is challenging....to an extent. I like being busy and I like the positive feedback that I get from it. It is definitely giving me an outlook on life that I thought I would never have before. It is morbid but also so calm for some people. Death for a lot of people is welcomed, so to say. At this age I never think about it, only because I feel as if I haven't experienced enough yet. Yet, there are so many others who only live for hours on this earth, knowing nothing but love and compassion and that is so beautiful.

We've, well mainly I, have had baby on the brain for a couple of months now. I always knew I was going to get married at a young age but I didn't think about kids. But after we got married that instinct almost came on instantly. The maternal clock starts ticking and is just waiting for the prime time. When Joe and I started dating he always has told me that he always has seen himself having a little girl first. I thought having a boy was ideal because then our second would be a girl and she would have someone to stand up for her, but the more I thought about it I felt it too. I don't know if it is because he has brain washed me or what, but all I can think about is her. We've picked out a name, which I won't reveal just yet, and sometimes when I just sit and ponder or am scrolling through pinterest looking at all the precious baby girl things I can almost feel her. I can feel her sweet spirit running around and stirring in my heart. We long for her so badly, but know that in God's perfect timing and if it is His will she will come. I have a lot of friends who are currently expecting and it is so fun watching them turn from young women, like me, into mature women who are not only women but become super hero's as well. I think about the uncomfortableness of the first few months and can only imagine how they endure, yet they still manage with smiles on there faces, most of the time. That God given maternal instinct is so amazing to me. I've written our little girl a letter already even though she isn't stirring in my womb yet, she is stirring in my heart. I feel so much peace and so much love for her already. I want her life to be as close to perfect as it can get.

I am a diabetic and recently met with my doctor and expressed our thoughts on having a child and my world was turned upside down again. I didn't know of all the dangers that precious life has if I am not in prime condition. I had to go get some labs done and am eagerly waiting to hear the results on Wednesday when I talk to my doctor. I guess the worst thing that can happen is tell me that I have to change my habits. And if it means having a perfect little angel I am definitely willing to sacrifice almost anything.

It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it....

A Beginning

Every story has to have a beginning, right? Well here is mine. This blog was created just as all others are created-to inform, to inspire, to connect, to give hope, and to voice opinion. I've had the idea for a while now, to use it as an outlet for various things but became inspired by a girl that I went to middle school with. By chance I came across her facebook page, and as most people do read up about their life since 10 years ago. She is a beautiful girl, very active, very athletic, very positive who at the age of 22 was diagnosed with cancer. And although we haven't seen each other since middle school, and I'm almost positive she wouldn't remember who I am, I was positively shocked the entire next day by her story. I thought of myself in her situation and how devastated I would have been. In the beginning I would have looked at everything in a life-is-crumbling- like-a-mountain-in-an-earthquake kind of way. She looked at it as if I'm-going-to-climb-that-mountain-while-it-tries-to-throw-me-off kind of way. I highly admire that. Thus resulting in the happenings of our life.

This is us.

We we're married on September 7, 2012. We fell madly in love in 2010 and about a month after we met I left to go to school. We saw each other about every 2-5 weeks depending on my insane schedule especially while I spent my time doing this.

The Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Eventually I graduated and was able to come home. 

We really did love each other. 

When I came home it didn't stop for us. I started work at a daycare two days after I came home. We spent every moment that we could together. It was so nice to be around the guy that I got to know for so long(only nine months but it felt like FOREVER) He dealt while I kept performing and working. By the time July hit-after we had dated for a year-I was almost positive that he was going to propose. However life came about and we received an emergency call to visit my grandmother in California who had had several strokes and was losing her battle with pancreatic cancer. It was a beautiful time. The most inspirational person in my life finally got to meet the man that I knew-even thought it wasn't official-I was going to marry. She loved him and he really enjoyed getting to meet her for the first and last time. Instead of spending a completely romantic time for our one year anniversary we spent it on the pier with my mom-which was still pretty fun. 

A month later my grandmother lost her battle with cancer and passed away and we pressed on. The holidays came upon us and that question of when he was going to propose was still looming over me. I had no idea when it was going to happen-rightfully so-and it was driving me crazy! Thanksgiving passed, Christmas passed and New Years passed. I was so discouraged and thought that there was something that I was doing wrong. We committed to doing a show written by my mother called "It Is Well With My Soul: The Joni Eareckson Tada Story" It was Joe's first experience acting, and it was hard for me to enjoy. It wasn't until now that I realize how big of an impact it had on others and myself. It forced me to grow. It was our second weekend doing the show and the day didn't feel like it was going well for me. I was having hot flashes all day long and felt sick to my stomach. The last thing I wanted to do was to put on a swimsuit and be flipped around in a striker frame. Alas I pushed through the show and I'm so glad I did. At the end of the show after crying for half of it I came out one last time for bows. When we were done we started to wave and walk away. I heard Joe start to stop the music and I feared for my life that he was going to pull an awful prank, being April Fools and all. I was  pushed back on stage and there was the man I love kneeling down on one knee with a precious look on his face. Of course I said yes! and was so excited to finally know that God had intended us to be together. 

My favorite picture from that night. 

So cute right?! And then came the planning. Not too long after that I was cast as a nun in Sound of Music and spent my entire summer at the theatre. My mother did a wonderful job at planning out wedding(I'll create a whole post about it later) and now here we are, six months into our marriage, we have a growing business, a growing marriage, and a cute cat named Aslan. We are very blessed.